Growing up in a tropical climate means this is the first time I see the blanket of snow covers the entire landscape. The temperature has not dipped too low yet. The roads are muddy and the layer of snow is only ankle deep. So it’s still relatively safe to go for a run, well-equipped. This photo is taken (with my phone) while on the run back to my hostel.
With the academic stress lifted off the shoulders, I am scrapping through all the seminars and lessons thus far, literally. Spent a few days during the exam break (in fact, 5 out of 6 days) traveling. To realize that I’m not that fond of walking the streets of the major cities, I found Copenhagen and London rather boring. Anyway, I brought my notes along and studied while on the move, and spent one day doing the final revision. Not surprisingly, like how I scrapped through the seminars, I barely passed the exam. I can’t help but feel a nagging feeling that I could have done more, but I didn’t.
I received an email today informing me that I failed a recent seminar because I did not demonstrate an understanding of the concepts involved in the studies. In my defense, I did understand what was happening. However, I find difficulties in bringing an idea across using technical terms when I’m not very familiar with the concepts. To make the situation worse, my articulation of the words seems to stir some confusion within the other group members, especially the tutor. As much as I would like to learn, the interfering with me is turning me away.
Things took a bad turn when my Honors project allocation came out. The prioritizing of the projects is quite a lousy idea, as implemented by my school, in my opinion. I shall not go into details how it works exactly, it’s just that not getting my first few choices of projects left me flustered. On the bright side (I have to dig deep enough to find this glimmer of light), it’s still within the field that I may be interested in.
Rough week I would say. I had wanted to come here to start afresh after the incidents back at home. But apparently, I still couldn’t find the courage to pick up the pen and start writing. The haunting feeling that I was never able to shake off still creeps over me occasionally. And all the little failures and discourses just aren’t helping. I could still help the failures, but the discourses are simply beyond me.
The sky turns dark early in the afternoon. The sun never emerges out from behind the clouds today. The lack of sunshine means a lower synthesis of Vitamin D in the human body, resulting in the hindering of certain neuro-chemical pathway that is said to cause a gloomy mood.
It has come to the point where I don’t even know if it’s the lack of sunshine, or it’s just me. This is bad.