I tend to drift off on Friday evenings, putting aside things that needed to be read. No excuse for me because I have been lazing around the house for the past few months, shrugging off responsibility for as long as I can, so I cannot talk about having a Friday night’s off from the tiresome week. But things will probably not be the same from next week onwards.
Truth to be told, I feel very fortunate, and lucky in a sense, to be offered a position that I want. Having just graduated, and with no prior working experience except for the honors project, I just armed myself with a mentality that as long as I display interest and commitment, I should not have problems with the interviews. What I faced was not intimidating interviewers grilling me over my lack of experience or that my grades did not meet up with my passion. It was more of my incoherence and lack of articulation that put myself off. I knew what I want, but I did not manage to align my aims with the goals of the organization/company. And on top of my inexperience, the skill sets did not really click well either. I blamed myself for my immaturity a few years back, when the lecturer was covering an important programming skill, and I did not pay attention to it thinking that it would not be of use to me.
With the tides washed against me, I was left to my own despair that I would have to send a second round of emails to places I never thought of going. And then I was given this chance. Pretty much to my amazement because it was not a place I thought I would be in. Furthermore, my impression of the standards held there are definitely beyond what I could possibly meet. Well, they said you can have all the plans in the world, but most of them are not going to roll out as you wish. To put things positively, to be hired means that they have already put the trust on me. It is going to be a rough climb as I am probably already behind everyone else in terms of reading programming codes, let alone write a script. Or maybe, I will not be touching it. And of course, as the work becomes serious and deadlines start catching up with me, accountability and responsibility follow. Oh well, let’s hope for the best next week.
Life isn’t going to be easy from here on. But an easy life, is a boring life.